Because I’ve moved so much and because I am an introvert I don’t have many friends. I mean the kind of person who’ll come to my house or ask me to theirs just to spend time together. As for the people I “know” right now, if they did ask me to hang out, I’d have no clue what to do or how to act.
Over the past month I’ve had the opportunity to hang out and spend time with a few people who’ve actually made me feel comfortable around them. I have to admit though, that when I was camping there was one person who commented to me that he wasn’t sure if I was having fun because I didn’t show it. Well, I didn’t drink because it was a new group of people and I need to feel comfortable around them first. Also I don’t get loud and boisterous when I’m having fun but I smile and laugh and try to be active with what everyone else is doing. If I wasn’t enjoying myself I would’ve made up some excuse to go home. Not being overly demonstrative is one of the downfalls of being an introvert.
The problem I have with hanging out with people for an extended amount of time is that I become comfortable with them and coming home can be a big adjustment. Sure I enjoy my alone time just as much as any other introvert but coming home means that I won’t interact with any other adults for a couple of weeks. I go days upon days without ever talking to another adult because I work from home and raise my children. The only adults I talk to are clients and that’s business not quality time.
The other problem I have after hanging out with people is figuring out whether or not to communicate with them afterwards. I question everything I do:
- should I text them? maybe they’re busy?
- do they want to text me?
- did I hang out for too long?
- are they glad I’m gone?
- do they want to talk to me?
- will they answer me?
- what do I do if they don’t answer me?
- what should I do if I’m the only one texting or messaging them and they don’t initiate conversation?
- do they still like me?
- do they dislike me now that we’ve spent time together?
- the questions are endless!
Introverts need people too – even one person we feel comfortable with who we can actually be ourselves around. People who are okay with an introverts personality.
So what are some of the things that introverts do? Here’s a few that I’ve put together:
- small talk is torture
- crowds are stressful
- we have a small group of close friends (if we have any that is)
- feeling alone in a crowd is quite the norm
- we hear the same questions repeatedly – what are you thinking? are you okay? are you having fun?
- we wait to text back – and re-think every word we say
- taking walks is our favorite exercise
- networking makes us feel like a fake
- puzzles are intriguing – especially people who are puzzling
- people think we’re too intense
- books and movies are the best way to chill out
- we enjoy talking to people about subjects we’re passionate about
- we’re very picky about stuff – music, food, movies, friends
- we don’t trust easily – but sometimes we make bad judgement when we’re too isolated
- we’re easily distracted …hey look there’s a squirrel!
- we’re really a great listener
- people often interrupt us because we listen so well and they forget we sometimes have something to say
- we plan ahead …alot
- if we like something we absolutly love it …or we absolutely hate it – there doesn’t seem to be an in-between
- giving a talk to 500 people is easy – mingling and making small talk afterwards is hard
- too much activity causes a shutdown – pj’s and warm drinks are necessary
- observation is an activity we enjoy
- once we find a friend we tend to open up like a book – sometimes this makes us feel vulnerable if the person isn’t a true friend
- we know what we like and aren’t worried about missing out on new things
- extroverts are the best relationship partners
- we screen all our calls – even from friends
- we take it very personall when someone we thougt we were close to starts to ignore us
- getting lost in our thoughts happens alot even when other people are talking to us
